TRANSCRIPT:
Panel 1:
(There is a caption at the top. The caption reads:) I’VE BEEN FEELING REALLY ANXIOUS LATELY. (Below the caption, there are three drawings of Sam.)
First Sam: (A person wearing a round-neck sweatshirt. The top of the sweatshirt is a red-ish maroon, and it appears to be dribbling down the rest of the shirt, which is a pale purple. The first Sam’s trousers are a dark grey at the top, and a pale blue at the bottom. The grey appears to be dribbling down over the blue. The first Sam is facing the viewer, but looking down, with hunched shoulders. Eyebrows are lowered, mouth is small and closed, and hands are in pockets.)
Second Sam: (A person also wearing a round necked sweatshirt, with sleeves pushed up to the elbows. The top of the sweatshirt is green, and it appears to be dribbling down the rest of the shirt, which is a pale turquoise. The second Sam’s trousers are a dark grey at the top, and a pale blue at the bottom. The grey appears to be dribbling down over the blue. The second Sam is facing the viewer, but with head tilted down, shoulders hunched, eyes squeezed shut, and a small, closed mouth. Arms are bent up at the elbows, hands are pressed flat against the sides of the second Sam’s face.)
Third Sam: (A person wearing a light grey, collared shirt, and a round-necked sweatshirt. The top of the sweatshirt is a medium blue, and it appears to be dribbling down the rest of the shirt, which is a pale blue. The third Sam’s trousers are a dark grey at the top, and a pale blue at the bottom. The grey appears to be dribbling down over the blue. The third Sam is facing the viewer, but looking down. Eyebrows are raised, mouth is small and closed, with slightly downturned edges. Arms are hanging slightly away from the third Sam’s sides.)
Panel 2:
(There is a caption at the bottom of the panel. The caption reads:) ALL I SAY IS SORRY.
First Sam: (A person wearing a pale blue, collared shirt, who is looking directly at the viewer, with raised, slightly pushed together eyebrows, and an open mouth, with very slightly upturned edges.)
Second Sam: (A person wearing an olive green, round-necked sweatshirt, who is facing the viewer, while standing behind and slightly to the left of the first Sam. Eyebrows are raised, eyes are full of tears, and mouth is open, with slightly downturned edges.)
Third Sam: (A person wearing a red-ish collared shirt, and a pale grey vest, who is facing the viewer, while standing behind and slightly to the left of the second Sam. Eyebrows are raised, and mouth is open, with slightly downturned edges.)
Fourth Sam: (A person wearing a red, round-neck shirt, who is facing the viewer, while standing behind and slightly to the right of the first Sam. Eyebrows are raised, and slightly pushed together, mouth is open, with very slightly upturned edges.)
Fifth Sam: (A person wearing a light grey round-neck shirt, and a green over-shirt, who is facing the viewer, while standing behind and slightly to the right of the fourth Sam. Eyebrows are raised, and slightly pushed together. Mouth is open.)
(The Sams are surrounded by speech bubbles. The speech bubbles read:)
1: I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.
2: I’m sorry for all of the self-loathing.
3: I’m sorry for doing that.
4: I’m sorry I’m asking too much of you.
5: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you angry.
6: I’m sorry I’m crying all the time.
7: I’m sorry I’m the most impossible boyfriend.
8: I’m sorry I’m horrible.
9: I’m sorry.
Panel 3:
(Written over and over again, in a medium pale grey, all over the panel, are the words:) I’m sorry
Sam: (A person drawn entirely in different shades of grey; a medium grey long-sleeve shirt, dark grey trousers, and medium grey shoes, is sitting in a grey puddle. Head is lowered, forehead is pressed against Sam’s knees, arms are bent forward at the elbow, and hands are holding Sam’s shins. Legs are bent up at the knees, and are folded up close to Sam’s body, with feet flat against the ground.)
Panel 4:
Sam: (A person wearing a maroon vest and a blue-grey, collared shirt, who is looking directly at the viewer, with raised eyebrows that are pushed slightly together. Mouth is open, with slightly downturned edges, and arms are by Sam’s sides. There is a caption in the middle of the panel. The caption reads:) I wish all the sorry’s would just go away and I could just be me.
I’m sorry you’re sorry.
My grandpa Selig (who I never met, but who was very smart) used to say: “guilt is a wasted emotion.” I think he was right.
why do you have paint dribbles all over yourself? 😛
this is the way i’ve been feeling a lot lately too.
Thanks chris.
Agreed Alex, though it feels hard to actually sink in on a day to day living kind of way.
And Giang – I like paint dribbles. We are excellent wallow-ers, I am relying on the assumption that wallowing is just a phase… like sexuality, perhaps? Oooooh.
bam dam bum. i hate sexuality as much as wallowing, i wish it would just pass and i could become a potato again!
Po-ta-toe. Whenever anyone says/writes/mumbles/declares ‘potato’ I alwayshave an urge to sound it out like samwise in the lord of the rings, when he’s being condescending to gollum. And that, is my thoughts on that.
I just wanted you to know that this comic really spoke to me, and that I’m a big fan in general. =)
Oh wow, thankyou that means a lot 🙂
Came in from Twitter and started at the beginning. Crying a little because this is how I spent nearly 3 years of my life.
People pulled me out, and I wish I’d known there as an end to it.
Oh, it is so nice to know there is an end! I have been working hard at it for the last few years, and having less and less days like this, but it comes back still…
I think it’s like most things, depression, etc.. Some day you’ll just realise, “Hey, I don’t do that so much any more… I don’t feel as awful as I did.” and not be even sure when it stopped. 🙂
This is the best depiction I have ever seen. (And I’m grateful to the person who gave me the link to Rooster Tails – this is awesome!) I felt like that for the longest time.
Eventually the sorrys, although they didn’t exactly go away, shrank into inaudibility and hid at the back of my mind. I don’t recall when they gave up, exactly; I just know that they no longer try to make me voice them. That is good enough, I think. I’m happy. The members of my family who need to know who I really am, know – and love me just the same. =^_^=
I literally have said sorry all my life.. I feel like I have to apologise for my existance. My friend started correcting this for superfluous sorries by getting a long sock putting a sponge in the end and hitting me with it when I say sorry for no particular reason. Its called the sorry sock. Ive literally been hit with this thing for 10 years and yes in a way it has helped. I still say sorry, but sometimes I now hold back from saying it. After doing it your whole life it almost becomes habit, but habits can be broken to an extent.
say “thankyou” instead of “sorry”. that advice has helped me a lot. “thankyou for dealing with my issues” “thanks for letting me ask so much of you” even just “thankyou for putting up with me”…. makes me feel a lot better. <3
This is really good advice! Thank you!