Nov27
Sorry it’s late – had a family wedding, which through off my schedule a bit.
But, yeh, please help me with suggestions and/or stories of how you cope!
Also, this Friday my amazing friend Polly Johnson is playing a gig in Ponsonby, Auckland, so you should go, because The Polly Johnson Set is at least five kinds of amazing!
Also! Kelci Crawford, the artist of the trans girl webcomic Validation has started a kickstarter for a romantic comedy comic featuring a transman and roller derby. Check it out here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1087927496/seeing-him-a-webcomic
PLUS!
I’m having an Xmas sale on my online store – to get 20% off use voucher code: xmas
I’ll give it some thought, but I doubt I can top #2.
Well, what I usually do is say “Excuse me but I found what you said pretty offensive because it sound mysoginist/homofobic/transfobic/clasist/racist etc and I’d appreciate you check on your language, if that wasn’t your intention, it’s a comoun mistake so just take a bit more of care please” with a serious but empathic face. It has worked for me, even if after that some people take too much care of their language in front of me xD but bleh, that’s the cost of this sort of things. Actually this happen with some of my class mates since I told the teacher in a class of groupal critic that he was being mysoginist and homofobic with his comments (I’m an art student and in that class I pressented a series of drawing of trans/intersexed/gender ambigous people) so the theme of trans women and afeminated mans popped up! and the teacher said at some point “besides Octavio Paz was pretty afeminated he was a real man! He was brave, inteligent, tallented and loyal. So, even if he was a little faggot like, he was a real man in the end.” How could I stand there and hear all that without saying something? He was not just denying the value of an afeminated man as a man, he was even denying the value of being a woman/femenine person! And after I made him clear my point of view of his comment he excussed himself saying “I was raissed that way, there is nothing I can do about it” but it was a poor excusse because he was pretty ashamed and found himself in an unconfortable situation. I know he is a good person, even if I dissagree with him in many points, but I think it’s important to point out these kind of mistakes people make even without menning it, but always being respectfull and honest with them.
Uff sorry if I extended too much. I don’t even know if I expressed myself properly, spanish is my mother language so I might misspelled some stuff.
Oh! and I’m a great fan of your work, by the way! I’m always waiting for you to update even if I don’t mind waiting because I know you have your own life out of this, your comics always make feel really happy and I can totally relate with a great bunch of things you usually talk about. I just wanted to say thank you for the great effort you always do to give us a pice of your life and make us feel less alone in someway :’) <33
P.S.: I'm working on a webcomic project about trans people and I wondered if I could make you a little interview sometime to calrify some points I have doubts about and.. yeah, I'd appreciate hearing your point of view about some trans-topics. Would you mind? If you're bussy or don't want to be interviwed by me is totally okay, so don't be affraid of inmediately rejecting.
Atte: Marion-999, Jimmy at your service
No no, I understood! I do think that sometimes a generation gap can cause people to be extra problematic about trans stuff. Yes, totally excited to be interviewed by you, that sounds great!
Awesome! Ehm how could I manage to interview you? And when are you free for that matter? 😀
Maybe via email? my email is sorchard at ymail dot com 🙂
Oh great! I´ll send you an e-mail then! Thank you a lot and sorry for taking so long to reply.
Staring blankly – get’s me through so many awkward situations.
As does one long and blatently forced laugh/sigh.
Drawing attention to the awkwardness someone else has put you under – super effective.
Ha! Yes, but as I’m super awkward anyway, it doesn’t always work 😛
Hi Sam
I’m a long time fan and Id love to hear what you have to say on female privilege, if it exists, and your thoughts on the matter.
Much thanks
Heya Rodney – what do you mean by female privilege? Can you give me some examples. ‘Cause I guess I can think of instances of Cis-female privilege, or heteronormative privilege, or homonormative privilege, but just wanna check we’re on the same page?
-Sam
You’ve kinda flabbergasted me with all the keywords, I might have to do some research and make some flashcards! I’ve always been really interested in gender dynamics but alas my knowledge on the matter appears to be comparatively limited. So if anything I say comes off as offensive in anyway please point it out and forgive me because hopefully its just based on ignorance on my part, I try to love everyone I swear!!! 🙂
I guess when you refer to the idea of male privilege I look at your other posts where you give examples with ideas such as; of talking about cars, a womans place is in the kitchen or in this comic, treating women as objects. I was really curious to know your thoughts on comparable dynamics that are potentially at play that may deem men in certain light in a similar way. I guess some examples in pop culture could be the role the father plays in most family TV shows such as Everybody Loves Raymond, King of Queens, Family Guy, Married with Children, Cosby show etc etc where the father is almost always viewed as lazy and apathetic, sitting on the couch not really caring about the family as much and being generally stupid. The mother on the other hand being the real hard working one, looking after the family and bossing her husband around and generally being displayed as more powerful and smarter. I think there are many examples along those lines in other forms all circled around the idea that men are stupid and aggressive and violent without emotion and women are elegant, intelligent and generally more caring. Even the idea that women are first to get in lifeboats if a ship is sinking whereas men with comparatively worthless lives are left to go down with the ship.
My question to you is, as someone who has experience more of the gender spectrum than I, I’d love to hear your perspective on this idea of female privilege (or if you have a better term for it)? I see the idea of male privilege and patriarchy coming up very often, from someone who has experienced both sides, is it a simply one way street as it appears or is it more complex than that?
Thanks alot!!!
Privilege might be a bit of a loaded word, but I do think I can relate to where you’re coming from. As a woman who also presents in what society generally considers to be a fairly gender normative way (sorry for the mouthful), and someone who had worked pretty extensively in the customer service industry, I’ve gotten my fair share of women making jokes about the men in they’re lives which assume I see men in the same way they do.
Often they start with “You know how men are…” or “Men are so…” and other such statements that not only assume that men are all the same, but that I, as a fellow cis-gender female, must also be making these assumptions. I know many men, none of them stereotypical. It offends me to no end when people make assumptions about them, which is what these people do when they make blanket statements like that.
I always found it super hard in customer service to respond to these remarks. When keeping your job involves being pleasant to customers, and people saying stereotyping things makes you so upset, it’s difficult to respond appropriately….
Will you were a girl? If You were a girl why you started with testosterone? When did you go from being a girl to being a boy? You are gender fluid?
You can check the about section, or peruse the rest of the comic if you want to know more
When I hear somebody say something fucked up, I usually turn to them and say, “What do you mean?” and wait for them to explain. It gets across that I disagree with them but forces them to try to explain themselves, which they usually can’t – bonus points if this makes them look stupid in a crowd.
hello dear friend :3 i am 18 and trans so i find your comic very insightful and helpful as well as entertaining. in regard to this comic, have you ever heard of Diane DiMassa? or Hothead Paisan?
Oh thanks! YES! Her comics are hilarious!
they really are! maybe they can get some of her comics and take some of the little comments that hothead makes to the dick heads to use for these situations?